As of today, I’ve been a junior for a week. I’ve had three existential crises.
All week, I’ve gotten questions about college and life after high school. Truth? I have no idea what the heck is going on.
This is honestly surprising, because I’ve been planning and researching since eighth grade to prevent any last minute doubt. Deciding my major, finding schools best for that major, with a campus I wanted and scholarships big enough to afford it all.
That didn’t work.
Initially, I thought I wanted an open city campus in the east coast, most likely in New York. And I still want it. But now I’m considering other schools, because my interest in majors has changed.
I also thought that I was going to be an English major, because I wanted to be a writer and it pleased my parents. I hadn’t looked to much into specific majors, I just thought English was like, all of it. It is not.
Freshman year, things changed and I was truly reintroduced to musical theatre. My true love, my main passion. Writing became a side chick.
But recently, I’ve been reassured that I can do all of it, and that I should. I’m New York I was told that if I had other talents, to use them and use them as building blocks to my main goal.
So now I have no idea what to major in, because I have so many things that I want to do. Act, sing, write, direct.
I thought that I had more time than I do. In two years, I’ll be shipped of to a school probably on the east coast, in musical theatre, taking a huge gamble on myself and praying that I’ve got the right cards.
Obviously, ive been thinking a lot about my future. If I’ve actually got what it takes, if I’m okay with struggling for what could be the rest of my life.
Each time I voice my opinion, I’ve got my cheerleaders telling me that I’ll be great. I’m gonna be a big star, financially loaded and living in a dream apartment in NYC. Each time they reassure me, I want to believe them, and sometimes I do.
But the reality of “80% unemployment on a good year” absolutely freaking terrifies me. I used to think of college as a stepping stone. Now? It’s a safety net.
I’m super stressed and incredibly scared, but I’ve got to get back to studying. I’ll catch y’all on Sunday to talk about the new waitress album. (Door number three? Banger.)
Hi guys! Thanks so much for reading my blog post!
This whole life things gotten a whole lot more complicated, and I’m so grateful I’ve got you guys to help me pull through!
As usual, like and comment if you please, I’d love to learn about you and your thoughts on my writing or my blog so far! If you have any thoughts on this post or have any suggestions for what you’d like to see from me in the future, please let me know! I’d love to hear from you all!
Thank you all so much, and I’ll write you all on Wednesday.
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